The Healthiest Example of Dealing with a Potential Divorce I’ve Ever Seen

She ducked.  She waited.  And it worked.

In an August 13, 2009 article published in The New York Times, Laura Munson described how her husband came home one day and said he wanted out of their marriage – that he didn’t love her any more.

Ms. Munson was stunned.  They’d had a good marriage and partnership, they’d achieved many of their goals, and life seemed happy and fulfilling.  This pronouncement – that he didn’t love her any more – seemed to come out of the blue.

Like countless others in her position, Laura Munson had to make an instantaneous decision on how to proceed at a time when she’d been sucker-punched.   Her very next words, her next actions, would determine not only the course of the frightening conversation at hand, but of her very life.

Unlike the vast majority of others in her position, Laura made an amazing decision.  She chose not to believe him.

Oh, she knew he thought he meant it.  She knew he was hurting, that he’d had some disappointments of late, that – she hoped – he believed he needed a fresh start, to assuage some wounds his ego and his sense of self as a man had borne.

But she chose to believe that he was saying hurtful things to her in the same way that an unhappy child will; that he was striking out the only way he knew how at the time, pushing against the perceived barriers to his happiness.

What happens next is the healthiest example of dealing with a potential divorce I’ve ever seen. In her writing, Laura Munson shows great class, courage and dignity… and ultimately saved her marriage.

We’ve all heard stories of those wounded spouses (partners/whatevers) who viciously retaliate when their partner wants out. They cry, they scream, they rage, they destroy property, they run up credit cards in the other spouse’s name, they trash the one who’s leaving the marriage to anyone who will listen, they manipulate the kids, family and friends into taking sides…

They show no class, no courage and no dignity.  And they destroy any chance of saving that relationship.  It’s as if they’re saying to the world, “I love him and I’m going to prove it by showing the gods how wounded I am.  I really really love him, but give me more nails to drive into this coffin dammit”.

Laura Munson proved that she loved him by first understanding that he was in pain, and second by making the situation about his pain, not about her.  She gave him the time he needed to work through his pain in a classy, dignified and courageous fashion.

And it worked.

Brava, Ms. Munson.  Brava!

To read the article, go here:    http://theweek.com/article/index/99512/he-said-he-was-leaving-she-ignored-him

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